Action Star TODO List

I’ve been watching a lot of action movies lately and I made this list of tips and cool things you could/should cross off your TODO list if you wanted to be a really awesome action movie star!

  1. Proclaim that there’s no time for backup.
  2. Tell someone to let the girl go, it’s me you want.
  3. Dive underwater to dodge incoming hail of bullets.
  4. Shout “we’ve got company!”
  5. Pull out one of those butterfly knifes and flip it around all cool.
  6. Shoot out a tire on a car.
  7. Cock a lever-action shotgun like Arnold in Terminator 2.
  8. Thinking a foe is defeated, let your guard down, only to have the foe muster up the energy for one last attack. Your partner, who up until now has been anti-violence, will save you.
  9. Shooting a gun and blowing something up while not even looking in the direction you’re shooting.
  10. Light a stick of dynamite with a cigar.
  11. Make a car drive off a cliff, then shoot it so it explodes midair.
  12. Act like you’re going to punch someone in the face but stop short and not actually him them, then have them faint.
  13. If you see something that looks like it might explode, it probably will, so shoot it.
  14. As a cop, be sure to use your personal classic car for official police business. It’s destruction will motivate you to catch the bad guys more.
  15. If you make a bad guy fall off a building, make sure they land on the roof of a car and that the impact makes the car’s alarm go off.
  16. Enter a room by kicking someone through the door.
  17. Use a grenade.
  18. Break a beer bottle on a table and then yell “C’MON!”
  19. Catch an arrow shot at me with your bare hands.
  20. If you jump out of a moving car, be sure to roll along the ground. It’ll make it not hurt at all.
  21. Jump into a taxi and say “follow that car!”
  22. Jump from a bridge onto a moving train below.
  23. Extract a bullet from your shoulder (just a flesh wound) yourself using some metal scissor thing to pull the bullet out, look at it, and then drop it into a metal dish to hear a satisfying “ping!”
  24. Shout at the passenger in your car to “take the wheel!”
  25. Clip the correct wire on a bomb that had an LED timer when the timer has one second remaining.
  26. Spin kick a gun or knife out of someone’s hand.
  27. Punctuate a sentence with a shotgun cock.
  28. Throw down a smoke bomb and when the smoke clears you’re gone.
  29. Lose more than 4 hub caps from your car during a high speed chase.
  30. Look at a foot print on the ground, touch it with your hand and say “they went this way.”
  31. Act like you’re going to kick someone in the face but stop short and just stand there for an extended period of time with your leg up.
  32. If you’re in a standard police car, be sure to go in reverse with the doors open so they rip off and you can shoot better.
  33. Shoot a six shot revolver more than six times without reloading.
  34. Yell “don’t let him get away!”
  35. Rip open someone’s shirt to find them wearing a wire.
  36. Get shot at a whole bunch but all the bullets hit the handrails next to you and be unscathed.
  37. If you kill a henchman that has a better gun than you, don’t pick it up.
  38. Crawl through some air ducts.
  39. Convince the bad guy who clearly has the upper hand on you that he shouldn’t just shoot you as that would be the easy way out, let’s go mano-a-mano.
  40. It’s really easy to have conversations with people in cars next to you even when going hella fast. Talk normal, they’ll be able to hear you just fine.
  41. Yell “get down it’s gonna blow!”
  42. Dual wield pistols and shoot to empty the clips, then make the empty clips fall to the ground in unison.
  43. Ride on top of an elevator car.
  44. Tell someone that they don’t have the guts.
  45. Have someone enter a room thinking it’s empty only to find you hiding behind the door or (somehow) above the door frame.
  46. Dive behind a sofa while dual wielding and shooting. Make sure your body gets as horizontal as possible in the air.
  47. Ask someone “why me?” and they respond “because we needed the BEST!”
  48. While driving, shift more times than your car has gears. You can always go faster.
  49. Blow something up by pushing down on one of those old timey plungers.
  50. Get a cut on your face, then touch the cut, look at the blood on your fingers, then lick the blood off your fingers while you look menacing at your foe.
  51. Shoot a shotgun one handed and somehow magically have it not recoil into your face.
  52. Save a civilian and let bad guys get away first. It’ll show you’re a good person and worth rooting for.
  53. Kick someone (or get kicked) into a giant pile of cardboard boxes.
  54. Sneak around behind some bad guys, but don’t just shoot them right away. Make sure to give them a heads up that you’re behind them and make sure they hear a zinger before they die.
  55. Jump off of an exploding boat into a body of water.
  56. Drive a car into a house / building. Hopefully with floor to ceiling glass.
  57. Emerge from a body of water with a machine gun.
  58. Ghost ride your car into a bad guys lair, they pump the car full of lead, then open the door to discover you’re not there.
  59. Be interviewed by a reporter, and use that opportunity to talk shit into the camera directly to the lead bad guy about how you’re coming for them. The lead bad guy is of course tuned in and has an outburst.
  60. Use a bad guy as a human shield.